PASSING ON YOUR FAITH
Cement & Bricks: Children & Faith
by Phillip Day
Take a moment to picture a ‘normal’ brick wall. How many bricks surround an individual brick? One method of brick wall construction means that each brick is surrounded by six other bricks.
Now imagine a child’s name written on a central brick and ask yourself, “Who are the six people in key relationships surrounding that child? Who cements him or her into the life of the faith community.” It’s OK to put the names of a couple on two different bricks if it is true that both people are active in the life of the child and, for a challenge, it would be better to put the names of a couple on one brick only.
John Westerhoff (Will Our Children Have Faith?) talks about faith as a pilgrimage through four ‘styles’ of faith. The first is inherited or ‘experienced faith’ … a person is born into the faith community or enters it at some point. The second is ‘affiliated faith’ … a person is established in, and belongs to the faith community. The third is ‘searching faith’ … a person expresses doubts, critical judgements and experimentation. The fourth is ‘owned faith’ – a person makes responses showing one owns one’s faith for one’s self.
The metaphor of the brick cemented into a brick wall pertains to the three latter stages. The challenge parents and the church share is to provide ways for the faith community to be the strongest affiliation in a child’s life where the connections will ‘cement’ or affiliate the child into natural, loving ways of the faith community. This also means as a child questions their faith they can do so in loving, non-judgmental relationships with a variety of people. Then, as a child owns his or her own faith, discipling can continue in and through a variety of mentoring or coaching relationships.
Of course, this requires intentionality. When parents and the church work together to ensure that each child is surrounded by ‘six bricks’ the exercise becomes one of profound importance in the faith journey of each child. We ignore the lesson of the brick to our peril. As a leader, team member or as the parent, you are helping to ensure that one of the bricks is covered.
As a footnote to ‘The lesson of the bricks’, the question is worth asking, “Are you cemented into the life of your faith community?” Don’t wait for someone to make sure you are. Take responsibility for your own affiliation and discipling possibilities. Connect yourself into the people around so you can help each other in the good and the difficult times. Too many people wander away from the church because they don’t feel a part of it or they think no one cares. One of the most strategic things we can do is to cement ourselves into the fabric of the church in order to be Jesus to one another and the community around us. Join a study group, put your name on a roster, turn up to a working bee, do tea/coffee or come to a prayer meeting. These activities will not only benefit the church or the community but will also help you to feel and know you are an important part of the life of your church. We all need it. And each child needs it!
Phillip Day has over 40 years of experience in spanning a number of ministry roles in a variety of contexts, one of which is his current consultancy/ training/ networking role with VCCE (Victoria Council of Christian Education – Australia) as a Children & Families Ministry Specialist.
Take a moment to picture a ‘normal’ brick wall. How many bricks surround an individual brick? One method of brick wall construction means that each brick is surrounded by six other bricks.
Now imagine a child’s name written on a central brick and ask yourself, “Who are the six people in key relationships surrounding that child? Who cements him or her into the life of the faith community.” It’s OK to put the names of a couple on two different bricks if it is true that both people are active in the life of the child and, for a challenge, it would be better to put the names of a couple on one brick only.
John Westerhoff (Will Our Children Have Faith?) talks about faith as a pilgrimage through four ‘styles’ of faith. The first is inherited or ‘experienced faith’ … a person is born into the faith community or enters it at some point. The second is ‘affiliated faith’ … a person is established in, and belongs to the faith community. The third is ‘searching faith’ … a person expresses doubts, critical judgements and experimentation. The fourth is ‘owned faith’ – a person makes responses showing one owns one’s faith for one’s self.
The metaphor of the brick cemented into a brick wall pertains to the three latter stages. The challenge parents and the church share is to provide ways for the faith community to be the strongest affiliation in a child’s life where the connections will ‘cement’ or affiliate the child into natural, loving ways of the faith community. This also means as a child questions their faith they can do so in loving, non-judgmental relationships with a variety of people. Then, as a child owns his or her own faith, discipling can continue in and through a variety of mentoring or coaching relationships.
Of course, this requires intentionality. When parents and the church work together to ensure that each child is surrounded by ‘six bricks’ the exercise becomes one of profound importance in the faith journey of each child. We ignore the lesson of the brick to our peril. As a leader, team member or as the parent, you are helping to ensure that one of the bricks is covered.
As a footnote to ‘The lesson of the bricks’, the question is worth asking, “Are you cemented into the life of your faith community?” Don’t wait for someone to make sure you are. Take responsibility for your own affiliation and discipling possibilities. Connect yourself into the people around so you can help each other in the good and the difficult times. Too many people wander away from the church because they don’t feel a part of it or they think no one cares. One of the most strategic things we can do is to cement ourselves into the fabric of the church in order to be Jesus to one another and the community around us. Join a study group, put your name on a roster, turn up to a working bee, do tea/coffee or come to a prayer meeting. These activities will not only benefit the church or the community but will also help you to feel and know you are an important part of the life of your church. We all need it. And each child needs it!
Phillip Day has over 40 years of experience in spanning a number of ministry roles in a variety of contexts, one of which is his current consultancy/ training/ networking role with VCCE (Victoria Council of Christian Education – Australia) as a Children & Families Ministry Specialist.
Nurturing your Child's Spirit
According to research, families who focus on nurturing the mind, body, and spirit raise kids who are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and are more likely to grow up thriving. Children and teens can nurture their minds, bodies, and souls in many different ways— and with different emphases during different developmental stages.
Understand that spirituality, no matter how you or your child experiences it, is important for healthy, positive development. It’s important to remember that spirituality can be expressed in a multitude of ways, regardless of the religious tradition that your family recognizes.
Expose your children to different expressions of spirituality through books, art, and music. Talk about how the different expressions might indicate different faith traditions and interpretations of those traditions. Encourage your kids—especially tweens and teens—to take part in positive groups and organizations that reinforce and nurture spiritual commitments.
Model the spiritual and religious beliefs that are important to you, and set a good example for your kids. Actions often speak louder than words, and your children learn a great deal by observing your actions.
Regularly engage your older children and teens in discussion about spiritual topics, but don’t force the issue. Be open to different interpretations of your faith tradition or your child’s interest in a tradition other than your own. Ask questions to clarify, and don’t judge what he or she says.
Spirituality, no matter how your child experiences it, is important for healthy, positive development. Regardless of religious and philosophical beliefs and worldviews, encourage your child to take part in a faith community or explore different expressions of spirituality to expose her or him to many different facets of spiritual development.
As we mature, all humans spend time thinking about the meaning of life, why we are here, how we treat others and ourselves, and what we value. Our answers to these questions are always evolving, and they help shape our personal beliefs and personalities. It’s important to remember that spirituality can be expressed in a multitude of ways, regardless of the religious tradition that your family recognizes.
Facts about Spiritual Development
Tips for Fostering Spiritual Development
Because spiritual development is so important to positive youth development, it’s crucial to help your children explore their spirituality, starting at a young age—regardless of your religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs. There are many ways to encourage your child’s spiritual exploration, and children respond differently (especially across different faith traditions). So try some of the suggestions below, and see what helps your child grow.
Whether or not your child is currently involved in a spiritual community or spiritual exploration, continue to encourage him to explore his spirituality through new and different experiences and expressions. Don’t be discourage if your child isn’t immediately attracted to the idea of spirituality—just keep supporting her or him and be patient.
Understand that spirituality, no matter how you or your child experiences it, is important for healthy, positive development. It’s important to remember that spirituality can be expressed in a multitude of ways, regardless of the religious tradition that your family recognizes.
Expose your children to different expressions of spirituality through books, art, and music. Talk about how the different expressions might indicate different faith traditions and interpretations of those traditions. Encourage your kids—especially tweens and teens—to take part in positive groups and organizations that reinforce and nurture spiritual commitments.
Model the spiritual and religious beliefs that are important to you, and set a good example for your kids. Actions often speak louder than words, and your children learn a great deal by observing your actions.
Regularly engage your older children and teens in discussion about spiritual topics, but don’t force the issue. Be open to different interpretations of your faith tradition or your child’s interest in a tradition other than your own. Ask questions to clarify, and don’t judge what he or she says.
Spirituality, no matter how your child experiences it, is important for healthy, positive development. Regardless of religious and philosophical beliefs and worldviews, encourage your child to take part in a faith community or explore different expressions of spirituality to expose her or him to many different facets of spiritual development.
As we mature, all humans spend time thinking about the meaning of life, why we are here, how we treat others and ourselves, and what we value. Our answers to these questions are always evolving, and they help shape our personal beliefs and personalities. It’s important to remember that spirituality can be expressed in a multitude of ways, regardless of the religious tradition that your family recognizes.
Facts about Spiritual Development
- Spiritual development encourages a positive view of a young person’s personal future. According to Search Institute, youth are more likely to grow up healthy when they are optimistic about their future.
- Young people involved in faith communities are more likely to feel supported, valued, and empowered than those not involved in these communities.
- Youth who place importance on spiritual development are much less likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as tobacco use, illicit drug use, driving under the influence of alcohol, school problems, alcohol abuse, and antisocial behavior.
- Studies show that children and teens who are religiously active are more likely to have eight different indicators of thriving, including getting good grades, resisting danger, maintaining physical health, and leadership.
Tips for Fostering Spiritual Development
Because spiritual development is so important to positive youth development, it’s crucial to help your children explore their spirituality, starting at a young age—regardless of your religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs. There are many ways to encourage your child’s spiritual exploration, and children respond differently (especially across different faith traditions). So try some of the suggestions below, and see what helps your child grow.
- Involve young children in your religious practices, and adapt those practices to your child’s age. Many children aren’t able to sit still for very long when they’re young, so provide something that they can do quietly in case they lose interest.
- Expose your children to different expressions of spirituality through books, art, and music. Talk about how the different expressions might indicate different faith traditions and interpretations of those traditions.
- Encourage your kids—especially tweens and teens—to take part in positive groups and organizations that reinforce and nurture spiritual commitments.
- Model the spiritual and religious beliefs that are important to you, and set a good example for your kids. Actions often speak louder than words, and your children learn a great deal by observing your actions.
- Regularly engage your older children in discussion about spiritual topics, but don’t force the issue. Be open to different interpretations of your faith tradition or your child’s interest in a tradition other than your own. Ask questions to clarify, and don’t judge what he or she says.
- By regularly spending time with families and groups that share your spiritual beliefs, practices, and priorities, you can encourage your child to begin building a network of spiritual support.
Whether or not your child is currently involved in a spiritual community or spiritual exploration, continue to encourage him to explore his spirituality through new and different experiences and expressions. Don’t be discourage if your child isn’t immediately attracted to the idea of spirituality—just keep supporting her or him and be patient.
